Benny and The Schleps
The Legendary Sir Elton John
Greetings Mouthketeers:
Last night I had the privilege of going to the Elton John concert at Madison Square Garden, and if you think really quickly, you’d probably agree that it should have been the coolest concert in town. Not. Uh, was it me, or did I feel as if I was watching a Debbie Downer extravaganza for the AARP set? Please understand I’m a member of AARP, so I’m preaching to the choir…however, it is these AARP moments that you don’t look forward to. First, was Elton wearing sweatpants onstage, over a very ugly long coat that he would not have worn even in his better days? Second, was the lighting scheme from my Bar Mitzvah? How do you say, “1971?” Blink, Blink, Spotlight. Blink, Blink. I could have sworn I saw a strobe light and a bit of smoke puff-puff from the back, but talking about a cheap-ass production! Third, what was up with the sound? Almost every song seemed to have gone through a bit of a soundcheck before it got up and running, and for a few hundred bucks a seat, it would have been nice for the band to rehearse before showing off their wares, no?
Speaking of the stage, the show was in three parts: the first part featured some great Elton John anthems–you know, the kind of songs that you came to the Garden for. The second part seemed straight out of Nashville or something, as Elton introduced Leon Russell, who apparently is sharing the billing on a new album they’ve recorded. Is it me, or is there anyone else who did not know who Leon Russell was?? Or was that Z-Z Top onstage? Or Willie Nelson? Whomever Elton introduced was hobbling to the piano with a cane, and someone who looked as if they won’t pay their taxes anytime soon. Negating how I felt about Leon Russell, Elton John totally lost his audience for the next hour (out of a three-hour concert); playing with Leon Russell as if they were at a dive bar in Dollywood. And then, Elton introduces a special guest–a Rock & Roll “Hall of Famer”–Gregg Allman, who sang an entire song about the Civil War (I think) without any sound. Perhaps he had laryngitis?
After the painful hour of listening to Elton and Leon’s batch of new songs (honestly I think there was one tune in there that was worth it), which to my knowledge hasn’t gotten any airplay before this concert, Elton came “back” with more greatest hits. And when he sang them, you felt as if you were 20 years younger. And that’s when the trouble started.
Who gives 50 something people–or people at any age–the right to act out, get drunk and start spitting over audience members? That’s right. That’s who was sitting next to me; and sadly they were from Brooklyn and Woodbridge New Jersey. Can you believe that out of thousands of people, I had to sit next to those who probably hadn’t been to a concert since the last time Elton was at MSG! In any event, once I had a yelling match with my bridge and tunnel neighbors–telling them basically to shut the f–k up–the concert was getting a bit better. How could you hate anyone for singing “Benny and the Jets” or “Candle in the Wind?”
Even with cheesy lighting, sweat pants, bad sound, obnoxious audience members and a chunk of songs that aren’t ready for prime time, it was great to try and hear Elton John–as a senior citizen–with a voice of a 20 year-old. Now why didn’t I get a PBS tote bag along with the purchase of two tickets?
Did I just see Raquel Welch on a Foster Grants commercial? How old is that beauty?? How old is that commercial?
Peace.
The Mouthinator.
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