Greetings Mouthketeers:

Do you remember any of Jon & Kate Gosselin’s divorce statements? Do you recall any of President Barack Obama’s resonating speeches? Well, I bet if you read any of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s emails to Buenos Aires, Argentina, resident, “Maria,” you will never forget them!  That’s why, “If you’re looking for help in publishing your ‘prose de pussycat,’ Mr. Governator,” “I’m there!”

You got that right.  I will whore myself out to the big cheese publishing barons of the world in order to help Sandy (uh, Mark Sanford), nail a book deal.  Why not?  He certainly is sexy, (although he will never be a hand model with those bony hands); he certainly can cry on camera (although all men who are caught cheating these days seem to tear up on cue); and, he certainly has a lot of writing talent.  Read this:

Lusts Sandy, to Maria, (whose real name will probably leak out in today’s news), “I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light — but hey, that would be going into sexual details …“

Wow. Did I just read the lyrics to “The Girl From Ipanema?”  Where did this dude study English?  Move over, Barbara Cartland:  When The Sandster gets axed from the GOP, he is gonna wet the panties of his readers (who can only imagine being in the same shoes—or the same tankini—as Maria), or he will be hired as a talking head for the Fox News Channel.    

Seriously friends, it’s time for us to live up to what our parents taught us: And that is to be nice people who don’t cheat on their loved ones.

Hey, I bet former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is glad he is outa the spotlight today, right?

Peace.

The Mouthinator.   

The Mouthinator Politics